Bush meat

clearly, america has made mince meat of the guy
but it still cracks me up all the time:

'The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.'
- George W. Bush

'If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.'
- George W. Bush

'One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.'
-George W. Bush

'I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.'
- George W. Bush

'The future will be better tomorrow.'
- George W. Bush

'We're going to have the best educated American people in the world.'
- George W. Bush

'I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.'
- George W Bush

'We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe . We are a part of Europe '
- George W. Bush

'Public speaking is very easy.'
- George W. Bush

'A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.'
- George W. Bush

'I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.'
-George Bush

'We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.'
- George W. Bush

'For NASA, space is still a high priority.'
-George W. Bush

'Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.'
-George W. Bush

'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
- George W. Bush


On a serious note though, there's movie preview i saw(titled "W") if anyone knows where i can watch it...pls lemme know.
Peace!

Dining with celebrities

Just gisting...dont take me serious

Okay so yesterday was a friend's birthday. He wanted us to hang out after work. I wasn’t really up to it but I wanted to give him a birthday hug before I hurry home(plus my SH was waiting for me with my friend so I had no excuse) After driving through the traffic on the island just to get to three streets away, I was tired and burning to go home. But i put on my best attitude cos hey....it’s my friend's birthday. My SH met me at the entrance and he kinda hinted me that we would be dining with a celebrity from a reality show. He said her name but it didn’t click. So i thought the face should definitely click.

Unfortunately for her...it still didn’t click. She's a nice young celeb, not those ones with nasty attitudes. So I relaxed and tried to enjoy the conversation. All five of us gisting and laughing. Two celebs, three non-celebs...good combo. Usually, when I’m in a place, I take in all the faces around me. So I sat there laughing at the gist, and taking the scene in....first table...three young ladies gisting (one was looking around like me so I fixed my gaze on the next table...two young men eating (looking around too) now the third table had three people, one of them a celeb of the celebs, even I could not deny his face. (lol) The other was a regular celeb, and the third was a celeb's friend (which makes her a celeb right? I think lol)

I was beginning to enjoy the scene so much that I think I must have imagined the next occurrence. Remember the celeb of the celebs I told you about? Well, he just stared directly at me and said "Right thurr" Don’t ask me what that means. But that moment marked my baptism into the world of celebrities.

Getting attention from people can be addictive...trust me. Or why else would the silly thing stare at me for a long time and still have the audacity to mouth those gangster words? Did I like the attention? Yes. So I don’t blame him for thinking he's got what it takes to make me swoon (no I didn’t swoon) I just acted like it wasn’t me. He was being rude but wanted to be noticed, something they all want cos they’re addicted, remember? so I didn’t give him the pleasure. Why? Cos I’m not a celeb...I’m a superstar and superstars don’t mix with celebs.

lol...I wish

Fashola's Lagos

As the country commends the metamorphosis of Lagos, I will join many Nigerians to congratulate our innovative Raji Fashola. The irony however, is that I never thought the day would come when Lagos would be blessed with a leader like him. (at least not in my life time). Now I guess I’m eating my words and they don’t taste so good.

Truth is, many people are as guilty as I am, and I never supported Raji from the outset. I had many things against the guy; first he had to be the incumbent’s protégé and I wondered why he couldn’t speak for himself. Also, the likes of ---- and---- blew me away with the suaveness and fluency. Compared to the quite Raji who could barely be heard even above the loud speakers (or maybe it was I who wasn’t listening). Other aspirants seemed to have garnered all our attention. Their speeches inspired me to think maybe for once, Lagosians would vote right and allow the change we need.

With the results out and Raji declared as winner, I was also among the crowd that cried foul. And we waited for him to prove the enlightened, exposed and educated facet of the state right. Unfortunately, he hasn’t given us the pleasure to see him fail, at least not to my knowledge. I hate to join the bandwagon praising Fashola every single moment they get but I still cant help doffing my hat (not that I like wearing hats) to this guy I thought didn’t have the verve it takes to transform Lagos state. He seems to have a determination stronger than his critics could have imagined, or else they would have tried harder during the campaign.

What happens when you have a governor in this country who just doesn’t like using sirens? Not because he wants you to like him (yea, we all know what strategy) but because he just doesn’t like noise. Now I heard him say that and went “yeah right, Raji don’t sweet talk me puuleeze” but he proved me wrong by consistently driving through Lagos without the use of the sirens. What you get is a saner Lagos.

What do you get when a governor personally apologizes for his subject’s mistake? The navy officer that authorized the physical attack of a Miss Uzoma in Lagos recently could have been knighted for his bravery in another administration for all we care but Fashola took charge. Now, I know he isn’t superman and he is only carrying out the duties expected of a governor, but the question is “When last did we have one so responsible?” It’s almost like a luxury walking through a place like Oshodi and wondering where all the dirt went to. What happened to the heaps of nylons and the smell of feaces cross the rail way? Then you wonder why we all have to use the pedestrian bridge to get to the other side of the road (uncomfortable for people who just love running across that road right?) And before you think it’s all a façade, the armed mobile police men are on ground to remind you that Lagos must change, whether you like it or not. I must confess, this whole phase excites me like a child waiting for Christmas morning.

Talking about Christmas, have you seen the new look of Lagos this festive season? It makes you wonder if you were somewhere far from home. The fun part is that these initiatives are not as expensive as the embarrassing excuses we’ve had from our past administrators; it’s all a mind thing. If you package a five dollar ring in a beautiful case probably worth more than the ring, it’s very possible that the ring would assume a higher value to someone who isn’t aware of the cost. If Nigerians can drive through their neighborhood and have a reason to smile or even take pictures to show others, then we are on the brink of change.

Sadly though, many Nigerians are complaining. Yes, we know Rome wasn’t built in a day but these people want more action than decorations and promises of a better, brighter or rewarding future. They would rather have that future today. The truth is, we cannot change a nation without changing the people themselves. If you mount a thousand and one thrash bins on a street, I know some people who will still litter the ground with dirt. If you force people to wear helmets on bikes, I know some people who would rather hold those helmets than wear them for safety. Its all in the mind isn’t it? They give excuses such as the fear of ritualists and possibility of catching skin diseases, leprosy and even HIV from these helmets! I do not mean to disregard these fears because I also have my issues against the helmet law. Why would the FRSC enforce a law when even the Okada riders themselves are not well trained on how to drive their bikes? I am of the opinion that asides forcing people to wear safety gadgets on bikes let the bike riders be zoned accordingly and trained intensively on safety on the roads, after which they are issued with licenses allowing them to do their business. I am not an advocate for the ban of motorcycles, not because it’s not a good idea but because we still don’t have what it takes. Or how do you want people like me to get to work on time against the mad traffic?

So, I agree we have more pressing issues but our governor seems to have discovered a secret that it’s the little drops that make an ocean.


©Oluwatoyin Odewunmi
2009 Jan.

Love in Due Season- Chapter 6

Alika’s journey to find her father was easier than what lay ahead. The train had been on wheels for days across the borders of Port Harcourt, Benin, Congo and now, it was finally heading for Accra. At first her chest seemed to pound with the engines but she was grateful for her laptop. Now that the battery had gone out, Alika was thinking of a better way to kill the anxiety.

“Don’t you think you need an aspirin for that headache” a voice cooed in her ears. She turned to see the medicine man that had been advertising secretly on the train since they boarded. No one had the courage to stop him or report him to the officers, except Alika’s seat partner, Bobo.

“Brother, can’t you read? “No haukin is allowed here” he gestured at the red and white stickers pasted by the passenger seats.

But passengers only laughed harder at Bobo’s mispronunciation and he quickly coiled in his seat. The medicine man took that as an opportunity to announce his potent tongue unlocking syrup that would help people like Bobo with the pronunciation of difficult oyibo words. More laughter erupted from the train and Alika almost felt sorry for Bobo, she would have tried to ease his embarrassment but her novel had to be completed, so instead, she bent her head over the laptop and tried to shut Bobo and the medicine man out.

Now, the medicine man was staring her in the face and for the first time, she realized he wasn’t even Ghanaian. He had tribal marks like that of a Yoruba person but she didn’t ask him.
“I don’t have a headache, thanks”
“But you do” his voice sounded like a TV advert. Alika almost laughed but she stifled it to respect his profession at least. “I see you squinting all the time behind those thick glasses of yours, you must have a headache. Those things look like the bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle”
Alika looked round to be sure no one heard his statement. This guy surely has some nerve. She nervously pushed the tip of her glasses further up her nose, something she does whenever she gets nervous. For whatever reason, the medicine man made her nervous.

“So what say you?” he grinned to show unbelievably white teeth against his very dark gum. His eyes were huge and almost bulging out of the sockets, each eye had a red vein by the side. This made him look scary but his large grin often put people at ease but Alika couldn’t stop staring. She was scared of him anymore, now she found him an interesting character.

“Okay, I’ll have the aspirin”
“Oh no mon Cherie, no aspirin for an angel. I will give you herbs and your headache will be gone forever. All those oyibo drugs don’t help us, they are slow killers. African medicine is the best remedy I tell you”

“But I thought you had it all packaged and printed.”
“Yes I do, but that is just what you corporate people call branding”
He handed the small pack of yellow powder to Alika.
“Thank you. So what brings a medicine man to Ghana?”
“The same thing that brings a beautiful lady here”
“I have come to find my father, Kofi Appiah”

Just for the Sistas...and the men who love them

Maybe I need to understand my place as a woman and let the men do their thing. But wait…that would mean my pride against the static male ego. Recently in the middle of a heated argument, a man called me proud but isn’t that supposed to be a compliment? So I gracefully accepted his kind words but my friend went too far when he said I was…what’s that word again? Phony...psychotic...men! (Real spelling E-G-O) Like I said, I'm still learning my place as a woman and I often sob at the thought of my life as the weaker sex. The life of a woman is almost pathetic; she will forever pay for leading the man astray with the forbidden fruit. Will she ever be forgiven, even in eternity? When will she be free from the fear of assault, rape, and the one that faces me even now…the fear of being herself, the freedom to express her opinion without a man breathing down her neck…or fellow women casting the evil eye on her, just for daring to be herself. I think sometimes I can help her tell her story , help her find her voice in the midst of the rancor, in the midst of the expectations -- from parents, the society and her man. But like I said, I’m still learning the art and mastery of the male ego.

I love African men and their sense of humor but I just don’t think I get their views on politics, romance, family…I could go on and on. But I’m trying to be an African man’s woman so you see why I must understand their ways? Ever heard of the phrase “I can’t possibly do that because I’m the Man” or “You shouldn’t do that because you’re a woman.

Ladies, don’t even try the 21st century thingy on them; they know the trick (sigh). Ever heard that popular phrase “Men are from Mars…women are probably aliens”? (Well, you heard it from me!) So when that guy holds the door for you, carries your purse, feeds you breakfast in bed…hold the mushy thoughts…if he’s black, him back!

• Dedicated to all my daring black brothers who are not ashamed of having a successful sista by their side. Who are not governed by the laws of give and take, who are not controlled by their ego and you know what!
• Dedicated to all my faithful soul sistas who know how to respect and love their men. Who keep it simple even though they’ve got it going on

Whispers of the wind

whispers of the wind...
in the dark starry night
my lover beckons me
with lips that dripped desire
I close my eyes to behold
a portrait of love, like a dream so real
lost listlessly in the ambience of your embrace
why wait forever?
why die with the thought that I would never
hold you in my arms
the fortune-tellers say we re not to be
my heart says otherwise
could there be a better soothsayer than this love I feel

in whose arms my heart was nestled
this love that enchanted my heart
this love that intoxicated my senses
now I am like a blind man
wandering by the sea
a heavy wind is blowing my way
Does it portend well
Or does it gust with gloom
The trees bows ominously welcoming it arrival
The leaves shudder with apprehension
The moon stares; an unwilling audience
Tell me what you bring from my beloved?

Echoes of a love once lost
The rhythm in my broken heart
Just like this angry sea
All tales of our love gone sour
Or so it seems
My heart gently whispers in the madding turmoil
Even the raging seas must calm
My precious love once gone can be found
And lost rhythms regained
Time mends the most broken places
Therefore I will wait

Cryptic

My grandfather and me
Beguile under the palm tree
In front of our burnt red hut
Sprawled on a torn raffia mat

Like a couple of yogis
Heads bent, sculls kissing
He put his thumb in spitted sputum
Fourteen lines… he drew

Five in two circles
“Your future is like the proud moon
Shun those white witches
They will come for you
On the night of the morrow
Despise them with your ancestral blood
They are bearers of sorrow”

“Old one, how must I learn to speak
Like the white witch if I so despise him?”

“The black man is no fool
Obrume, you carry the heart if an eagle”

He placed four stones
One for the North
The others for the East
The west and the South
So he said….

My eyes beheld the stars
Falling from the black sky
Down to the brown earth
The dust had licked my father’s signs.


©Oluwatoyin Odewunmi

On the Brink

Musing on my way to work this morning, I was blessed with the burden of shutting the world out.

The blaring sounds from dysfunctional loud speakers, where CDs and tapes are sold and the unfortunate customer has to scream the CD title to the seller for a sale. I was shutting out the putrid smell of gutter coming from the garage and the stench of cheap perfume from the bus passengers.

I was so determined to reflect that the curses uttered by the conductors didn’t bother me one bit. The engine of the bus made noises like a train but I remained undaunted. After all, it’s the last day of the year. The day everyone is supposed to reflect, make New Year resolutions, fast and pray.

I am fascinated with the fact that each year held more hopes, dreams, and more responsibilities. The thought of another year gives me goose pimples, partly out of excitement and also out of anxiety. The truth is, “I’m getting older, yet I feel younger than my 20 something years on this planet” or not.

I recall switching channels the other day and I briefly stopped at cartoon network. I didn’t linger on like I would normally on CNN but some years back…maybe 2 years back, I didn’t joke with cartoon network. Now, my interests seem to have taken a paradigm shift. This scares me but I’m also enthralled by the thought of “growing older”. It’s in reality a fun thing but on deeper reflection, more responsibilities aren’t fun anymore.

On past New Year’s eves, I never really bothered about writing goals for the year or things to pray for. I just lighted the fireworks and ate the chicken. Now, it actually bothers me that on the last day, I still don’t have any goals for the approaching year. Its not like I don’t have these goals somewhere in my head but writing them down is the concern.

But I still can’t get over the change taking place in my mind. My concerns have veered from girl and boy stuff to the global economic crisis, all in one or two years? It makes me laugh at myself sometimes. But now I know the meaning of “the young at heart”. It is very easy to allow the “grown up issues” give us wrinkles especially when all you hear daily are the Ugandan rebels killing scores of people on Christmas day. To think they couldn’t pick a better day to spoil the taste of your turkey.

When you go to bed praying the strikes on Gaza would end, Israel wakes you up with a promise not to stop the war. The world, your world, our world… seems paranoid and it’s only natural for us to adapt to this paranoia or maybe grow a few wrinkles.

Now, if you think the heat is outside the shores of our beloved country, think about the Niger delta crisis, and think about how many innocent people have lost their lives in the “struggle”. Think about the Jos crisis that came like a whirlwind and left a lot of people dead for no reason. And with all the issues, our leaders either choose to enrich their pockets or act dumb. Except of course someone can tell me what inspired our dear president to pick his cabinet members.

It’s a sad story but I choose to be happy no matter what. That’s why my New Year resolution is to watch more of cartoon network and buy comedy movie tickets than read politics and watch CNN.

Truth is New Year resolutions are faster broken than made.

Love in Due Season (chapter one)

The first kiss

For Oshare, the moment would be when she first kissed him. She had felt so full with emotions that night. She suddenly felt like the waves of an ocean were about to drown her soul. Her heart was like a bottle that was so full it could take no more, she wanted to topple over and reveal her secret desires to him. She was also very angry. He just acted so normal Sometimes she wondered if he truly had feelings for her or what exactly did she see in his eyes that night? When they got to the river that divides their journey, he stood under their favorite spot, the large baobab tree."So…goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow""good night," she heard thundering from the cage in her chest. She knew she couldn’t let another night pass without letting him know."What are you doing tomorrow? Can I come to, "that was when she did it. Slowly without a warning, she drew his head closer to hers with her right hand and she put her lips to his. It was the briefest she had ever had. He pulled away so gently that she wanted to smack herself in the face for doing it anyway. Maybe he's one of those weird ones who prefer boys or maybe he wasn’t just attracted to her.But Oshare won't forget that night. She won’t forget the brisk way they turned their separate ways that night, the way her heart fluttered with a million melodies, the way the stars shone ever so brightly, the way she greeted Mathias cheerily at the gate even when she knew it was way past her curfew time. The way her bed seemed warmer and her sleep so heavenly. She just can't forget the night she first kissed Kofi Appiah.

Phew

So...it's 2009....and to think i created this blog in 2007?!! all i needed was some verbal pushing from my friend and colleague(Lanre) to "dig" out this blog.
And i intend to get my acts together this time.(lol)
So here's to a frutiful blogging year...and i hope you find this place as comforting and inspiring as i intend!!
Voila!